In group dynamics , empathetic leadership is essential to guarantee harmony and achieve good conflict management.
Empathy is a person's cognitive ability to understand the emotional universe of another. Empathy derives from the Greek term empátheia and is also called interpersonal intelligence (a term coined by Howard Gardner ).
Before continuing, it is necessary to separate two concepts that are sometimes confused: empathy and sympathy . While the first refers to a capacity, the second refers to an absolutely emotional process that allows us to perceive the moods of another, but does not require us to understand them.
Empathy and emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the system that encompasses all the skills related to communication between the individual and feelings (whether their own or those of others). It is made up of skills such as self-awareness (linked to self-knowledge and understanding the origin of feelings), emotional control (learning to positively channel emotions), motivation (finding reasons to improve and having the ability to motivate others). and managing relationships (relating healthily, with sensitivity , respecting others and being respected). Empathy is another skill of emotional intelligence, and it is what allows us to perceive the feelings of others and make them feel less alone. It is not a gift, we can all develop it if we wish, just open your mind and try to capture the life of another from their perspective and not from our eyes.
For empathy to exist, it is necessary that moral judgments and phenomena with affective roots ( sympathy , antipathy ) be put aside, so that one can have an attitude of understanding but not compassion towards the circumstance of the other. It consists of an objective and rational effort to carry out the process of intellectual understanding that allows us to understand the feelings of another. For these reasons, it is one of the tools that psychologists take advantage of in their professional work to get closer to their patients.
Empathy requires active listening and full attention to understand the ailments of others . It is necessary to approach the other with respect and patience, having tolerance, to establish an emotional connection . Solidarity , in turn, is essential for interpersonal relationships to be empathetic and to provide the emotional support that others need.
Experience what another person feels
In other words, empathy allows us to refer to the intellectual capacity of every human being to experience the way in which another individual feels. This ability can lead to a better understanding of their actions or their way of deciding certain issues. Empathy provides the ability to understand the requirements, attitudes, feelings, reactions and problems of others, placing oneself in their place and facing their emotional reactions in the most appropriate way.
It is interesting to note that the development of empathy requires a certain kind of intelligence : that is why those who are diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome , autism or suffer from some psychopathies lack this cognitive ability. People with empathy, experts highlight, have the ability to listen to others (with empathic listening ) and understand both their problems and each of their actions.
Empathy in the workplace is always necessary, especially when committed to teamwork .
Develop empathy
When a person feels extremely distressed and upon seeing another person their mood changes completely just by being with them, empathy comes into play. For this to occur, it is not necessary that both people live the same experiences, but that one of them has the ability to capture the non-verbal messages, and also the verbal ones, that the other transmits and to do exactly what the other needs to do. make him feel understood.
A common problem that arises when two people try to communicate is that when one of them has to express their feelings, they withdraw, avoid the topic, or simply try to make a joke that diverts the conversation to a space where they can feel safe. This occurs because that individual experiences the presence of certain barriers that stand between him, his feelings , and the other person.
We cannot fail to consider that, when someone finds themselves in a situation of emotional or psychological vulnerability, they need support . It is essential, therefore, to develop the social skills necessary to interact in a healthy way with the rest of the community, receiving help or giving it when the situation demands it.
Attitudes to avoid
The external elements that influence a person's inability to express themselves, in addition to their internal barriers, have to do with the reaction they expect the other to have. To achieve a good empathic relationship, it is essential that when faced with someone who expresses their feelings to us, we avoid the following attitudes:
- Downplay what hurts or worries that person, looking for a way to ridicule the feelings they have and impose reasons not to feel that way. This can damage self-esteem.
- Predispose ourselves to conversation with prejudices , analyzing what the other person says based on our ideas, approaching him with a veil of beliefs and ideas.
- Using phrases like "you're not going to achieve anything that way," "why do you always end up doing the same thing?" , etc.
- Have feelings of compassion for others.
- Show yourself as a positive example , comparing the other's situation with one experienced by us previously.
With this way of acting, the only thing that is achieved is that the afflicted subject moves away, hides in his shell and considers the possibility of never touching on that topic with that individual again. For a relationship of empathy to develop between the two, it is required that the interlocutor forgets himself and his principles and tries to get closer to the other's world, as if he were trying to learn an unknown language, in order to act with emotional responsibility.
Without empathy in teaching, the learning process can be very difficult.
Parenting and empathy
Before finishing, we must emphasize the true importance of being able to talk about their feelings for an individual, an essential tool for living in society . Learning to put into words what you feel is something that must be learned in childhood and is essential to achieve good emotional communication .
It is parents who must help their young children discover and understand their own feelings and those of others. Those who cannot express how they feel will hardly be able to develop true empathy with someone around them, because they will not be able to grasp the world from a sensitive point of view.
Ultimately, there must be a social commitment so that these ties can be forged and thus contribute to emotional well-being . For this, it is necessary, from the family, an emotional education focused on the acceptance of the experiences of others and the promotion of values such as altruism, generosity , humility , kindness and kindness .