The notion of mourning comes from the Latin language, more precisely from the word luctus . This is the name given to the external manifestation of pain suffered due to the death of a loved one .
Mourning involves a variety of rituals and traditions that vary from culture to culture . In all cases, the aim is to express the pain caused by death and show respect through mourning .
In most Western countries , mourning is now symbolized by the color black . Those in mourning wear black clothing or a black ribbon. In the past, however, mourning was associated with the color white .
Official mourning or national mourning is the period of mourning declared by a government in the event of a national catastrophe or the death of a personality. This protocolary measure involves various actions that reflect the grief of the authorities and the people, such as the hoisting of flags at half-mast or the suspension of festive events.
In Argentina , for example, the authorities declared a three-day period of national mourning following the discovery of the wreck of the submarine ARA San Juan , which had been missing for a year. This mourning allowed the 44 crew members who were on board to be honoured.
Mourning is also used to describe the anguish , affliction or grief experienced for something beyond the protocol or the external. For example: "The world of football is in mourning over the death of the former national team player" , "Five workers have just been laid off, so we are in mourning at the office" .
The process that a person goes through when they have lost a loved one is unique in each case, and this means that both its intensity and duration can vary. There are those who break down and fall into a state of deep grief that prevents them from continuing with their routines, but there are also those who build up a shell that protects them from suffering and move on, at least for a while.
This last point is one of the most peculiar characteristics of mourning: it does not always occur immediately after the death, but can come some time later. There are certain variables that influence this factor, such as whether or not the victim had a previous illness; a slow, degenerative illness that lasts several months or years can help, so to speak, the loved ones prepare for the final day.
In such a case, mourning may be delayed or occur intermittently as a defence mechanism : after months or years of caring for someone, the energy level we have left is so low that if we add to this the devastating grief of the death, we may not be able to recover. However, this is not a conscious decision, but rather something each person experiences spontaneously, as best they can.
The customs surrounding mourning in each country and region can help to alleviate the weight of loss, because they bring us into a common space with many people who have already gone through the same thing. It is very important to express our feelings during this difficult time , and that is what friends are for, the people who really care about us.
Of course, not all of us know how to express our deepest feelings. A good starting point for learning to vent is reading works that deal with these issues, especially if they have been written by authors who have experienced a loss .