The etymology of ingrate refers to the Latin word ingrātus . The notion is used to describe someone who does not recognize, value or appreciate the favors or help they receive .
For example: “Nicolás is ungrateful, I always accompanied him when he had a problem and now he doesn't even answer the phone” , “I gave him accommodation in my house for three nights and before leaving he robbed me: that boy is ungrateful” , “My parents taught me not to be ungrateful.”
Take the case of a singer who, at the beginning of his career, used to receive all kinds of help from a friend: money , support to organize concerts, transfers to different stages, etc. Ten years later, the musician in question is famous and a millionaire and goes on international tours with a troupe of assistants. When the friend who helped him in the beginning loses his job and asks him for a job, the star responds that he can't do anything to help him. Taking into account his comfortable financial situation and the fact that dozens of people work for him, it can be said that the singer is ungrateful , since he could give him a hand.
The unpleasant or hard task that requires great effort and offers little or no reward is also described as ungrateful, and that which is not pleasant (pleasant, happy): “I had the thankless task of informing the children that their father had suffered a serious accident” , “The final of the last World Cup is an unpleasant memory for our team” , “Being a police officer is often unpleasant, people get angry when someone points out that they are breaking the law” .
Although ungrateful is a very common term in everyday speech, there are various synonyms that provide us with not-so-obvious nuances of its meaning. Among the most used are the following: selfish , disloyal, disaffected, ungrateful, forgetful and unfaithful . On the other hand, we can mention the antonyms faithful, grateful and loyal .
At first glance, the ungrateful person is unjustly unfair, since they refuse to return a series of favors or the good treatment they received from someone who was by their side when they needed them most. With this way of reasoning we often arrive at the "bad-good" duality, as binary as it is imprecise, since the world is infinitely more complex than a key that only knows two states.
Why can an individual have an attitude like the one described above, of ingratitude towards a friend who helped him when he needed it most? The answer is not as simple as "because it is bad", but in principle we must take into account that each case can be different, even if the results are very similar. Could it be that we don't know the whole story between these two people, that the friend was not always as generous as the example tells us? Will there be a deeply buried resentment in the soul of the ungrateful person because of certain childhood experiences? The possibilities are many.
This does not mean that we should forgive all the seemingly unjust attitudes or the terrible actions of certain extremely violent people. Forgiveness cannot end cruelty. The psychological analysis of those who practice it, on the other hand, can open the doors to understanding the origin of their behavior and, therefore, to building a better society through healthier parenting methods.
If adults who care for children strive to provide them with a space of openness and love during parenting , avoiding frustrating situations and oppression, the world can become a place where compassion and generosity are common.