A compliment is a congratulation or a complimentary comment.
Flattery is the action and effect of flattering (showing signs of affection or recognition to someone, giving cause for satisfaction , adulating). The term also allows us to name the thing that flatters .
For example: “The teacher gave me several compliments for my practical work on feline digestion” , “Cristiano Ronaldo deserves all the praise for his great performance in the last match” , “Don't be happy: what I'm telling you is not a compliment, it's the objective reality” .
Flattery as congratulations
A compliment, therefore, is an expression that shows that the person saying it intends to congratulate another person . If someone says “You have a wonderful voice and it is very mature for your age” , the phrase is meant as a compliment.
When praise is sincere , it usually causes satisfaction to the person who gives it and to the person who receives it, since as living beings we enjoy making those around us feel good.
Compliments can be expressed verbally, with applause, and in other ways.
The complimentary comments
Sometimes, praise is implied by the expression, without the person having to clarify that their intention is to praise. When a sports commentator says “Gómez is having an excellent game both in recovering the ball and in creating offensive plays” , they are making an assessment of a player’s performance that, due to its tone, is also a compliment.
This is especially true when someone talks about people they deeply admire, whether they know them and have a close bond with them or they follow their careers through the media. Some call them idols and others call them mentors, depending on the way in which their inspiration is used; but in all cases, it is common that when talking about them, a majority of positive phrases arise, with intentional or spontaneous praise , since they try to see the good and not pay attention to their weaknesses.
People on the other side, who receive constant praise, do not always enjoy this dynamic. It is known that in order to improve, to develop as a person in any aspect of life , it is necessary to know one's own defects, understand their roots and find a way to correct them. To do this, the presence of sincere people in our environment is essential, since it is impossible for us to look at our actions with total objectivity.
Depending on the context, a compliment can also be a compliment , a flattery or a compliment : “I am fascinated by your sky blue eyes” , “I have never met a person as attractive as you” .
Flattery as an instrument
Finally, flattery is sometimes an exaggerated adulation , carried out for a self-interested reason with the aim of obtaining some favor: “I congratulate you, sir, I admire the way you have resolved this situation” (a comment that an employee can make to his superior in order to gain his affection).
In this context, flattery is a mere tool with a twisted purpose, which is intended to be hidden from the person receiving it. For it to work, it is necessary to have a deep knowledge of the other person, or a great intuition, through which it is possible to know what he or she wants to hear, what he or she needs to be told in order to feel comfortable. Flattery with a deep interest is only one part of a strategy, which continues with one or more requests once the recipient's trust is gained.
It is common to label someone who uses flattery for such a purpose as self -serving. While there is an implicit interest in everything we do, even in our unconscious actions, the term in this case emphasizes that the person making the comments knows his or her objectives very well and, most importantly, that these are not altruistic.