The idea of codependency is not part of the dictionary of the Royal Spanish Academy ( RAE ). The concept, in any case, is frequently used in the field of psychology .
We speak of codependency to refer to the psychological disorder characterized by an excessive and inappropriate concern for the situation of other individuals . The person, in this way, puts aside his or her inconveniences and problems to focus on resolving someone else's conflicts.
Codependency can be forged with a partner, a friend or any family member. Even this condition can develop with respect to a cause that attracts all the interest and concern.
The codependent adopts a messianic role and seeks to save those who suffer from difficulties. In fact, it is common for them to seek to forge a bond with someone who is going through a bad time in order to come to their rescue .
According to psychologists, with codependency, the subject wants his presence to become indispensable . When the other does not react in the desired way, the codependent experiences great frustration that can lead to depression or adopting violent attitudes , for example.
It can be said, in short, that codependency affects the man or woman who dedicates their effort and time to solving the complications of others, neglecting their own situation. The codependent, in this context, has a tendency to relate to those who suffer the most setbacks since they seek to position themselves as a savior, even at the cost of ignoring their personal vicissitudes.
To reach this point it is necessary that the subject has lived a series of experiences that have marked them very deeply. Regarding the type of experiences, they depend on each individual, although it is possible to generalize that it is a lack of attention on the part of those who were responsible for protecting them throughout their childhood, something that leads them to try to repair that damage by doing exactly the opposite with another person: protecting them too much, even if they don't ask for it.
As mentioned in a previous paragraph, the lack of gratitude on the part of the person who receives your help or the differences in the results with respect to what you have planned from the beginning can generate great frustration and lead you to act in various ways. , even contrary to its original intentions. The complexity of a relationship in which codependency occurs is potentially considerable, especially when it is the first in the life of someone who becomes obsessed with helping the other.
It is very difficult to anticipate his reactions and actions, particularly if he reaches that point where he becomes violent towards his supposed recipient of help. The subject may experience a void that is apparently impossible to fill if he sees that the other person does not get out of his hole, because in him he had placed all his hopes of saving himself, of living through him what he could not in his past, and this represents a double failure.
All this shows us that individuals who practice codependency do not have bad intentions but rather cannot think or act with a clear mind. For this reason and also for the safety of those who may become victims of their attacks, it is recommended to go to a mental health professional as soon as we detect certain obsessive-type attitudes on the part of someone who presents themselves as our savior. The clearest signs are a spontaneous initiative on their part to help us even before we ask them and an insistence that they do not take no for an answer.